I often tell myself I’m just tired. That I have two littles, a husband, a full-time job and family that depends on me. I tell myself that I’m doing my best and that the small amounts of anxiety, the snarky remarks and the lack of inspiration are because of the transition my life is in. That it will get better and I will do better when my life isn’t changing. That I’ll prioritize myself again, once time allows, when I can create a better schedule. That it's okay to feel a little drained and a little complacent and a little annoyed.
Self-care is a challenge to a lot of moms. It’s a challenge to women in general. It's a challenge for me. It’s easy to spend all of my energy on those I love. It’s actually a joy to give them everything I can, but pile that on top of all the other responsibilities of being a woman and there isn’t always enough left for me.
Then comes the anxiety, and sarcasm and boredom. Which all equal symptoms of not making myself a priority. All of the seemingly rational reasons are just excuses to not make a change. I’m letting myself prioritize everyone and everything else over my needs. Then I tell myself it’s okay to do this when you’re life is in transition, but when aren’t things changing? Life is in constant change. What am I doing to prepare my heart and mind for those changes?
We are going to make a leap later this summer and before that I need to make myself a priority. To put energy into what I need, to listen to what my body is telling me and to help my mind find calm against the waves.
I’m finding myself continually hitting the snooze button on my heart, which is telling me I need something. A night alone, a pedicure, a new book - anything! I found myself warning my husband the other night that a meltdown might be coming. I’ve heard countless support from other women on meltdowns. Embrace the meltdown! They chant. What if we avoided the meltdown? I want to avoid my meltdown.
I’m committing in June to do at least one thing for myself daily that either brings me peace and joy (outside of my littles and Mr. Jeremy), supports my health and fitness goals, or feeds my creativity and inspiration. I’m going to be sharing these moments on Instagram and Facebook using #Juneselfcarechallenge to hold myself accountable.
My goal is to bring awareness to my own needs and take action, hopefully inspire other’s to do the same and learn from people who have a similar practice.
I want to fill my well the way I hope to fill the well of other’s. I want to give to myself so that I can give back. And I want to re-learn what it's like to care for myself as deeply as I care for those I love.